Small defining moments

Questions and Intuition

We tend to believe the biggest life shifting moments in our lives come from these earth shattering events such as an accident, dis-ease, marriage, divorce, or some other event that felt huge at the time.

But in reality, those are only the outcomes or final expression of the pattern or loudest moment that could have taken place where we had no choice but to pay attention to be fully present when the event took place.

The real shift typically happens when either a question is formed that starts challenging the reality you knew to be true. Or when your intuition told you something feels off. Just like the oak tree, it starts as an acorn....something small...not too obvious if you are not paying attention or looking for it. But over time, it grows into this large embodiment of life.

My internal shift or seed to explore beyond my religious upbringing and its structure began when I was 9 years old. Little did I know at that time, a question would open the doors to explore myself to the deepest level of who I AM.

There I was, a little kid sitting in the pew of a Catholic church accompanied by my family. Trying to stay still and pay attention as best as I could, because it's what was expected of me. The sermon held my attention. As I'm listening, I vividly remember the priest's tonality and presence while preaching to the congregation about speaking kind of others and to be leary of the tongue. Since we were a Spanish congregation he said be aware of "chismes"...aka gossip.

At that moment I happen to start scanning the church and noticed people nodding their heads with confidence and in agreement with the sermon. When the mass was over we all headed out the front doors of the church and as people are walking down the steps I overhear people putting other people down and saying some horrible things about others. I turned around and it turned out to be the same people that were nodding with so much confidence and alignment on speaking kindly upon others and to be careful of gossiping. That's when it hit me and I realized all these sermons and all these words went on deaf ears every single week. Not just this week. So I asked myself...."what's the point?" "Why do we change our behavior for one hour and then just revert back to like nothing happened?" It all felt like a performance. This felt so off that slowly I started questioning other things I was taught to follow or believe. To my mother's dismay, I eventually stopped going to Church altogether.

As years passed, I felt there was something greater that I needed to explore and years became decades of exploration. Now that I look back where it all began, it was that moment when I was 9 where the questions opened the door to the greatest peace I have ever known.

So pay attention to these small moments....the questions or the intuition as it can lead you to your path of self-exploration and you just might find what you have been searching all along.